March 8

When I turned 40, three and a half years ago, Mycol planned a very special celebration. No black balloons or “Over the Hill” party – just the two of us for a wonderful weekend. He planned and executed the entire weekend, having Reba keep the kids, telling me only how to pack, when we were leaving and when we’d return. He wanted to do things on my 40th birthday that were special to me.

He reserved a room at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in the Heights in Houston. He took me to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse for a very upscale dinner. We went to hear a big band jazz band, raced go-karts at Davy Jones’ Kart Zone and went for ice cream. Mycol made that birthday celebration all about me.

I thought I would be able to do the same for him on his 40th, but today Mycol would be 40, and I cannot take him anywhere special or do the things with him he would love the most.

So in place of what I cannot do, I will do what I can. I will honor him by sharing some wonderful things about him. How greatly I miss him and how deeply I love him.

Angie and Missy both spoke of Mycol during the Texas memorial service. I’d like to repeat some of their heartfelt thoughts here.

From Missy:

“I have so many memories of Mycol. He was a wonderful father. He was always at soccer games and Tae Kwon Do tournaments. He never treated my sister or me any differently than he did his own children. One time he took me to the father-daughter banquet that the church holds. As part of the banquet every father/daughter writes a small note to each other. I have never shared this note with anyone before this week.”

Then Missy read from Mycol’s note:

“Missy,Thanks again for being there and not complaining about the babies. Thanks also for making me a stronger Christian, watching how you love the Lord is an inspiration to me. Always keep the faith and you will always have peace. I love you and want to wish you the best as you approach adulthood.LoveMycol – Bonus Dad”

Now choked up, Missy struggled to continue.

“Bonus Dad,” she said. “He wasn’t my step-dad, he was my Bonus Dad, and my sister and I were his Bonus Daughters. He will never be replaced.”

Indeed, Mycol didn’t refer to Angie and Missy as “step-daughters”. He thought that word sounded void of the love he had for them. No, he insisted, they were in fact a bonus gift from God. Not only had I married a man so gentle and loving, but one who could also express himself so that my girls knew they were loved, knew they were bonuses.

From Angie:

“One thing (though there are many) about Mycol is the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes-you know the wrinkles people have from smiling so much. Mycol ALWAYS had a smile on his face. He was such a sweet, happy guy. He always had fun, he was like a big kid. I just watched an old video the other day of him at Christmas time, in his cowboy attire singing and dancing along with a George Strait Christmas song to the camera. He was so into it.”

“I remember last summer we were riding jet skis at my grandmother’s and I pulled up to the shore to see if Mycol wanted a turn, you could tell he was ITCHING to try it out! His eyes lit up SO big and he was like "YEAH!" Like a kid in a candy store. He never lost his youth or his ability to always have fun. I guess he had even told my Mom he didn't want anyone to cry at his funeral. He would say that. But I think I'll have to disobey him again…”

Angie’s voice began to waver and soften, “… like I did 100 times as a teenager.”

Angie struggled to continue, she looked straight at me and said, “I couldn't have picked a more wonderful man for my Mom to marry. He was a wonderful husband, son, brother, uncle, stepfather and father. He LOVED his family and he loved GOD. And boy did he love those kids.”

“Before all of this I thought my faith was pretty strong but after this not only did I question God's motives but I questioned His existence. I prayed Monday, I said 'God IF you exist-you HAVE to show me somehow, please show me a sign that you're real-and I need for it to be a sign that I know for sure it's you-not something I'm making up in my head or thinking, God is it you?'"

"So Tuesday morning, my fiancé woke me up at about 6am and said, 'Angie-you have to see this!' It was an article a man named Zeke wrote about our family, the move and the whole incident, and at the end it said-and I quote-

'On Monday the minivan was a mass of charred twisted steel. On the front seat lay the only possession that remained identifiable in the burnt heap: a Bible, singed around the edges.'"

"So, if that wasn't my sign then I don't know what is."

"Well, then I was angry. Why would God save the bible and not our family?"

"And my fiancé said, 'Angie, that's what he's trying to tell you, God did save your family.'"

Dear Blog Readers: Mycol would want you to know, our family is saved. Saved from the consequences of sin, because of the mercy of God, because of the sacrifice Jesus Christ made, taking on the penalty so that we can enter heaven, and have eternal life with God. You can’t enter heaven blemished, and none of us is perfect. Thankfully, Jesus made it possible for even the imperfect (us) to enter into the perfect place with Him. And that is the very message Angie received.

That was Mycol’s bible found on top of what was left of the metal springs of the front seat of the van. And I have his bible here with me. In 2001 Mycol marked in it what he had chosen as his favorite verse at that time: Romans 8:28. Following is an excerpt from the book of Romans:

18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Our hope lies in heaven, and we wait in eager expectation.

24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

And here’s Mycol’s favorite part:

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

34Christ Jesus, who died – more than that, who was raised to life – is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution of famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

When the bad things happen, will you say, as Mycol did, “In all things God works for the good...”?

My brother-in-law, Kurt, spent three days immersed in creating a gift of love, a video put to music, which we played at both memorial services. He took photos and video of our family and synchronized them beautifully with two Mercy Me songs, “I Can Only Imagine” and “Spoken For”.

The video begins with a quote from Mycol, something he said to Kurt the last time they saw each other, something he had begun saying often in the last six months, “When the Lord calls me home, I’m ready.” Then appear the words, “Mycol, Austin, and Jessie… are Home.”

The last words Mycol said to me, the night before the fire, were, “I really, really love you.” Leaving me with these two final statements, I know that I am loved, and I know that Mycol and the kids are Home.

That reassurance is the greatest gift Mycol could ever give me. And so, I share that love with you, in honor of Mycol, this special day, and forever.