But today is a special day. Today, if my family were all together here on the earth we would be celebrating Jessie's 9th birthday. It is the first birthday of any of them that makes more birthdays we are separated than those I got to spend with them.
Today I spent more time on my knees than I have in awhile. Then I opened my bible...to 1Kings, and that triggered my memory about a time when Israel had no king... as told in the Book of Judges.... and one of those Judges, Deborah.... Jessie. So I read Judges 4-5 again, thinking of how I used to say to Mycol, "We should have named her Deborah!" Her confidence in the Lord has always reminded me of Deborah. I had asked God to give me strength for today. Judges 5 ends with
"So may all your enemies perish, O LORD!
But may they who love you be like the sun
when it rises in its strength."
Then the land had peace forty years.
Deborah was a strong leader. So was Jess. She couldn't pronounce the letter "L" but she was proud to be in the "Yord's Army."
I had something special I wanted to do today. About two years ago I signed up to sponsor two children through Compassion International. I requested a boy born in 1997 and a girl born in 1998. Yonas and Sisay are from different families, and live in different cities, but are both from Ethiopia. For the past two years they have written me letters, about quarterly I'd say. I was comfortable with sending money, heck, its even automatically deducted from my checking account so I really don't have to do anything! But the letters, well that was harder for me. So they have been going from the mailbox to the filing cabinet, unopened.
A couple of months ago Compassion sent out postcards that said, "It only takes a moment to write your child. Won't you please?" Crash. The conviction! How selfish of me to let that pain keep me from answering these little children who have taken the time to write me for the past two years! What have they been saying to me that I have ignored because it hurt too much?
I opened a letter from each of them and wrote back a generic but encouraging letter that Jesus loves them and I am glad they are going to church. It was the best I could do. Then I put that idea back in the cabinet again. Until last week.
Another letter came from Yonas. This time I opened up it within only days of receiving it. He talked about the Ethiopian Millenium Celebration they had and how tourists are coming from everywhere to celebrate. He wrote that one of the things they have been doing in their town to prepare is planting trees. Yep, planting trees....my mind went immediately to this past February when Mike planted the trees which grew from the seeds my kids had collected and given to our neighbor, who kept them until I was ready. Then Yonas asked, "Have you ever planted trees?" It hurt so much, yet I knew I had to start writing "my children".
So since it was only a week until Jessie's birthday, I decided that would be the special thing I would reserve in honor of my baby girl. I would write real heart-felt letters, more than just generic. I would tell them more about me and acknowledge all the things they've told me. I would thank them for the little drawings they do at the end of their letters. I opened up every letter that had been sitting in the filing cabinet and read each one. I read about Sisay's sister who passed away and that her mother is very sick. I read about the flood last year in Yonas's region that killed many people and animals and destroyed many homes. I read about what they like to do, run, play soccer. I read about what they like in school and how they help their parent(s) at home. And then I sat down and wrote. They had asked me for a picture so I sent them a picture of me with the grandsons. I acknowledged Sisay's pain in missing her sister and concern for her mother. Her mother had known nothing about prayer until Compassion came to the village. Now Sisay and her family pray together. How could I not respond?
I had told Mike last night that I was going to want some time alone to do something special, so he stayed busy on his computer while I was back in the bedroom praying, reading Judges, reading letters, and writing. Then when I finally emerged, I shared it all with him. He wept with me, and shared about his Compassion child in Indonesia, the third one now, as two previous had moved out of the service areas. He told me about how his heart aches for one of the ones who had moved because he moved to an area where the Tsunami hit. He's been a sponsor for about 12-13 years.
After we talked and I had shared all the stuff with him, I said, "Well I know I can't really mail these letters today because there's no mail service, but I wanted to write them today." His teary-eyed response came from that big heart I love so much - "But we can still go to the Post Office and put them in the mail today."
And so, that is today. I ask for the strength of the rising sun, in the hope that I will glorify God and honor my family.
Jessie's confidence in God is inspiring and convicting. So in honor of our baby girl,
(NIV)
Judges 4
Deborah
1 After Ehud died, the Israelites once again did evil in the eyes of the LORD. 2 So the LORD sold them into the hands of Jabin, a king of Canaan, who reigned in Hazor. The commander of his army was Sisera, who lived in Harosheth Haggoyim. 3 Because he had nine hundred iron chariots and had cruelly oppressed the Israelites for twenty years, they cried to the LORD for help.4 Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading [a] Israel at that time. 5 She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided. 6 She sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, "The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. 7 I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' "
8 Barak said to her, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go."
9 "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, [b] the honor will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman." So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh, 10 where he summoned Zebulun and Naphtali. Ten thousand men followed him, and Deborah also went with him.
11 Now Heber the Kenite had left the other Kenites, the descendants of Hobab, Moses' brother-in-law, [c] and pitched his tent by the great tree in Zaanannim near Kedesh.
12 When they told Sisera that Barak son of Abinoam had gone up to Mount Tabor, 13 Sisera gathered together his nine hundred iron chariots and all the men with him, from Harosheth Haggoyim to the Kishon River.
14 Then Deborah said to Barak, "Go! This is the day the LORD has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the LORD gone ahead of you?" So Barak went down Mount Tabor, followed by ten thousand men. 15 At Barak's advance, the LORD routed Sisera and all his chariots and army by the sword, and Sisera abandoned his chariot and fled on foot. 16 But Barak pursued the chariots and army as far as Harosheth Haggoyim. All the troops of Sisera fell by the sword; not a man was left.
17 Sisera, however, fled on foot to the tent of Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, because there were friendly relations between Jabin king of Hazor and the clan of Heber the Kenite.
18 Jael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, "Come, my Lord , come right in. Don't be afraid." So he entered her tent, and she put a covering over him.
19 "I'm thirsty," he said. "Please give me some water." She opened a skin of milk, gave him a drink, and covered him up.
20 "Stand in the doorway of the tent," he told her. "If someone comes by and asks you, 'Is anyone here?' say 'No.' "
21 But Jael, Heber's wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.
22 Barak came by in pursuit of Sisera, and Jael went out to meet him. "Come," she said, "I will show you the man you're looking for." So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera with the tent peg through his temple-dead.
23 On that day God subdued Jabin, the Canaanite king, before the Israelites. 24 And the hand of the Israelites grew stronger and stronger against Jabin, the Canaanite king, until they destroyed him.
Judges 5
The Song of Deborah
1 On that day Deborah and Barak son of Abinoam sang this song: 2 "When the princes in Israel take the lead,
when the people willingly offer themselves—
praise the LORD!
3 "Hear this, you kings! Listen, you rulers!
I will sing to [d] the LORD, I will sing;
I will make music to [e] the LORD, the God of Israel.
4 "O LORD, when you went out from Seir,
when you marched from the land of Edom,
the earth shook, the heavens poured,
the clouds poured down water.
5 The mountains quaked before the LORD, the One of Sinai,
before the LORD, the God of Israel.
6 "In the days of Shamgar son of Anath,
in the days of Jael, the roads were abandoned;
travelers took to winding paths.
7 Village life [f] in Israel ceased,
ceased until I, [g] Deborah, arose,
arose a mother in Israel.
8 When they chose new gods,
war came to the city gates,
and not a shield or spear was seen
among forty thousand in Israel.
9 My heart is with Israel's princes,
with the willing volunteers among the people.
Praise the LORD!
10 "You who ride on white donkeys,
sitting on your saddle blankets,
and you who walk along the road,
consider 11 the voice of the singers [h] at the watering places.
They recite the righteous acts of the LORD,
the righteous acts of his warriors [i] in Israel.
"Then the people of the LORD
went down to the city gates.
12 'Wake up, wake up, Deborah!
Wake up, wake up, break out in song!
Arise, O Barak!
Take captive your captives, O son of Abinoam.'
13 "Then the men who were left
came down to the nobles;
the people of the LORD
came to me with the mighty.
14 Some came from Ephraim, whose roots were in Amalek;
Benjamin was with the people who followed you.
From Makir captains came down,
from Zebulun those who bear a commander's staff.
15 The princes of Issachar were with Deborah;
yes, Issachar was with Barak,
rushing after him into the valley.
In the districts of Reuben
there was much searching of heart.
16 Why did you stay among the campfires [j]
to hear the whistling for the flocks?
In the districts of Reuben
there was much searching of heart.
17 Gilead stayed beyond the Jordan.
And Dan, why did he linger by the ships?
Asher remained on the coast
and stayed in his coves.
18 The people of Zebulun risked their very lives;
so did Naphtali on the heights of the field.
19 "Kings came, they fought;
the kings of Canaan fought
at Taanach by the waters of Megiddo,
but they carried off no silver, no plunder.
20 From the heavens the stars fought,
from their courses they fought against Sisera.
21 The river Kishon swept them away,
the age-old river, the river Kishon.
March on, my soul; be strong!
22 Then thundered the horses' hoofs—
galloping, galloping go his mighty steeds.
23 'Curse Meroz,' said the angel of the LORD.
'Curse its people bitterly,
because they did not come to help the LORD,
to help the LORD against the mighty.'
24 "Most blessed of women be Jael,
the wife of Heber the Kenite,
most blessed of tent-dwelling women.
25 He asked for water, and she gave him milk;
in a bowl fit for nobles she brought him curdled milk.
26 Her hand reached for the tent peg,
her right hand for the workman's hammer.
She struck Sisera, she crushed his head,
she shattered and pierced his temple.
27 At her feet he sank,
he fell; there he lay.
At her feet he sank, he fell;
where he sank, there he fell-dead.
28 "Through the window peered Sisera's mother;
behind the lattice she cried out,
'Why is his chariot so long in coming?
Why is the clatter of his chariots delayed?'
29 The wisest of her ladies answer her;
indeed, she keeps saying to herself,
30 'Are they not finding and dividing the spoils:
a girl or two for each man,
colorful garments as plunder for Sisera,
colorful garments embroidered,
highly embroidered garments for my neck—
all this as plunder?'
31 "So may all your enemies perish, O LORD!
But may they who love you be like the sun
when it rises in its strength."
Then the land had peace forty years.
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